Client: “I’m hopeless with technology. I’m a complete technophobe!”
Tech Support: “No problem! Let’s start with the basics. Do you use a smartphone?”
Client: “Of course, I can’t live without it. It’s where I do all my banking, shopping, and social media. Oh, and I stream TV on it at night.”
Tech Support: “Right… and when you say ‘hopeless,’ you mean…?”
Client: “I just hate emails.”
Client: “Why do I need info@mygroup.com? mygroup@gmail.com works just fine.”
Tech Support: “True, but info@mygroup.com makes you look professional.”
Client: “But I’m not a professional, I’m just trying to run a business here!”
Tech Support: “Exactly. And info@mygroup.com makes you look like you know what you’re doing.”
Client: “So… it’s lying?”
Tech Support: “No, it’s branding.”
Client: “I don’t want to deal with DNS. It sounds scary and complicated.”
Tech Support: “It’s not too bad. Think of DNS like the phonebook for the internet. It tells your domain where to go.”
Client: “I haven’t used a phonebook since 1999. Why can’t it just work by itself?”
Tech Support: “It does… until it doesn’t. Then you call me.”
Client: “Can’t I call someone else?”
Tech Support: “You could, but then you’d have to explain what DNS is.”
Client: “Fine. How much do you charge again?”
Client: “I need a website, but it has to be super simple.”
Tech Support: “Got it. What kind of content will you have?”
Client: “Oh, just a homepage, an about page, a blog, an events calendar, a members-only area, and maybe an online shop. But keep it simple.”
Tech Support: “Understood. Just a small castle with a moat, drawbridge, and optional secret passageways.”
Client: “Perfect! How long will it take?”
Tech Support: “How long is a piece of string?”
Client: “I hate technology. It’s so unreliable.”
Tech Support: “What’s unreliable?”
Client: “The Wi-Fi keeps dropping out.”
Tech Support: “Have you called your provider?”
Client: “No, I yelled at the router. That usually works.”
Tech Support: “And did it work this time?”
Client: “No, so I unplugged it and plugged it back in. That worked.”
Tech Support: “Congratulations, you’re officially in Tech support.”
Client: “Why do I need training? Can’t you just set it all up for me?”
Tech Support: “I can, but then you won’t know how to use it.”
Client: “That’s fine. I’ll just call you whenever I need help.”
Tech Support: “Remember that piece of string? It’s getting shorter.”
Client: “I feel like you’re dragging me kicking and screaming into the 21st century.”
Tech Support: “I am. But look on the bright side—you’ll come out the other side an empowered, tech-savvy genius!”
Client: “Or I’ll accidentally delete the internet.”
Tech Support: “If you figure out how to do that, please call me first. I have some emails I’d like to erase.”
with a little help from a friend
